My son and daughter-in-law purchased their first house. It’s a new home. There are blessings to purchasing a new home. Obviously, everything is new. You don’t have to wonder how much longer the AC system is going to last before it stops working. However, there are down sides to purchasing a new home.

When you purchase a resale, the previous owner has added their personal touches. They may have added shelving to the garage or extra shelves in the food pantry. We had to add shelving to their food pantry. When they sell, the next owner will benefit from his work.

Since their home does not have a garage, they needed a shed to store outdoor tools. My son decided instead to go with a plastic shed. It “snaps” together similar to Lego’s. There would be no power tools or no compressed air nailing machines. Just soap on the connections where they “click” together.

After unloading his trunk of some items, he left it open. Sometime later, I went back to the car and noticed the trunk was still open. I’m from Jersey – we don’t trust anyone. We lock everything. I went to close the trunk. I forgot he had a two-bicycle bike rack on the trunk. It stuck out very far from the end of the trunk. Trying to be a good father, I closed it. You know what happened. The bars smacked me in the head. I felt like a football player getting tackled. If that wasn’t enough, the straps that were hanging loose smacked me in the face. I felt as though I just got hit in the head with a 2-by-4.

When I joined everyone, they asked me what happened. Both my forehead and my nose were bleeding. I was a mess. It hurt. A few days later, I was in a meeting and had to explain to everyone what happened.

I still think back to that moment when the bike rack hit me in the head. Had I stepped to the side of the car and closed the trunk, I would have been fine. But I didn’t. I could have gotten mad at the bike rack for attacking me. It wasn’t it’s fault. It was doing what it was supposed to do – strapped to the trunk with the purpose of transporting bikes.

Just like I should have not tangled with the bike rack, there are people with whom I cannot win a fight. I need to step to the side of their attitude and let them say what they want but not respond. Some time ago, someone was mad at me and told me what they thought of me. Rather than confront them, I just listened. When they were done, I responded, “It was good talking to you.” The call ended.

I’ve learned that “hurt people hurt people.” Read that again. They operate out of the woundedness of their life as they pour their pain onto you.

There is a scripture verse that says, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

Can I paraphrase that to say, “Don’t allow the wounded people in your life to make you feel less than lovable. If you do, they’ll take your heart, trample it with their words, and leave you in a puddle of feeling like you are worthless and a second-class person.”

I’ll be back soon. Until then, live well my friend.

The Rev. Tony Marciano is the president/CEO of the Charlotte Rescue Mission. He is available to speak to your group. Visit for details.

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