Resolve to be different
Stop recycling the same four resolutions
by Regan White
regan@thecharlotteweekly.com

What’s worse is that everyone seems resigned to it all. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve encountered the past few weeks who have mumbled, “Yeah, well, trying to lose weight in the new year and all,” with a shrug of resignation like it’s just expected when the calendar year flips. All said in the same tone you’d use to relay that your car inspection is overdue.

Shut up! I run into plenty of weirdos frequently enough to know that these cannot be the sole desires of an entire nation. It’s a new year, people! A new chance! A clean slate! Be original, or at least be brave enough to say something specific. Tell me you’re climbing Kilimanjaro or burning all the pictures of Todd, your jerk of an ex-boyfriend. Tell me that this year you’ve decided against worrying about your weight and in fact will make a point of eating more cookies. Tell me you’ll finally take that trip to Spain.

Don’t nebulously tell me you’re going to get healthy.

Future in focus
The last company I worked for made an annual thing of having each employee type up her goals for the new year. We then had to share them at the next staff meeting and post them at our desks to look at all year as motivation. What can I say? The staff of 12 was all female. It was like the “Oprah” show all the time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that … sometimes.

Suffice it to say no one wrote down things like “Get a new job,” but still the activity proved useful. It always was uncomfortable when one staff member would include “find a lover” or “have an affair” on her list, but the point is it kept one accountable for her goals and clearly forced specificity in resolution making.

For me, resolutions have always proven more important in terms of focusing on something – a “shoot for the moon, land on the stars” kind of mentality. I may not achieve all my resolutions but at least I’m paying attention more and working toward something.

Orange you glad it’s 2007?
I was reminded of this focus by co-worker Alison Woo, who imparted to our staff the Chinese tradition of eating oranges at New Year’s, saving the seeds and putting them in your wallet. Heralded as a symbol of wealth, prosperity and regeneration, the seeds are meant to bring your coming year all of the same.

From the Western standpoint, Woo explained that the seeds in your wallet work because they recenter your focus. “It’s like if you want to purchase a Honda Accord and then everywhere you drive all you see are Honda Accords,” she enthusiastically said. “It’s what you’re on the lookout for. Likewise, the seeds in your wallet … ”

“Will bring me lots of oranges in the New Year?” I asked wryly.

“No, it will correlate into prosperity and abundance, not wanting in the new year. What you focus on, you get more of,” she said.

Days later, Arts & Entertainment editor Sean O’Connell asked what it meant when your wife purchases oranges and they happen to be seedless. Woo told him he had until Epiphany on Sunday, Jan. 7, to secure some tangerines.

I followed Woo’s advice. My family and I gathered around the kitchen table with our oranges. I got a plentiful 22 seeds. My parents were discouraged to find their orange held only six. I told them it wasn’t about the quantity of seeds but about focus. At the same time I was thankful I didn’t come out on the short end of the citrus.

So now with 22 seeds jingling in my wallet, I keep expecting a whole host of citrus fruits to roll up to me when I’m out. Much like that Canon camera commercial in which all the tennis balls follow tennis star Maria Sharapova around the city, such is the citrusy sweetness I expect to nip at my heels in 2007.

The back pocket backup
In case the seeds don’t work, I have backup resolutions.

Kathryn Daniel presented me with a Smart Cookie fortune cookie-shaped Magic 8 Ball of sorts for Christmas. I used to get wonderful fortunes in fortune cookies. Now I am infamous for getting horrible ones – ones that aren’t really fortunes but rather cryptic, misprinted generalizations such as “People like be around you” and “A stitch time saves nine.” I asked the Smart Cookie if 2007 will be absolutely fabulous. Its answer? “Try the eggroll!” I love eggrolls! I bet it’s going to be a great year!

March on
To that end, I’ve mapped out three resolutions for 2007. First, I have signed up for the Azalea Festival Triathlon in Wilmington on March 31. Sure it sounds like the humdrum “get fit” resolution, except that I can’t swim. I can tread water like a champ. Dead man’s float? I’ve got it down. In terms of anything organized in a lane and for any amount of time? Forget it. I’m seriously considering asking the triathlon organizers if I can use a Hello Kitty float, the kind of inner tube favored by 4-year-olds everywhere.

Second, I’m cleaning up my e-mails. Haven’t heard from me in a while? Wonder if I get your e-mails? Well, wonder no more. Just this morning I went from 1,651 e-mails in my in-box down to a paltry 559. Success already and we’re less than two weeks into the new year!

Third, I refuse to keep people in my life who bring negativity with them. So if you haven’t heard from me by March, there may be a reason.

Another highlight of my upcoming year: I’m going on a cruise – and soon! So if you happen to see my mug on a “They Disappeared at Sea” special, keep ranting for me. And make those resolutions worthwhile.