I was out with friends at a local watering hole that rhymes with “Fans,” and in poured a gaggle of guys clad in the most heinous conglomeration of holiday sweaters and sweatshirts I ever saw. From bright green sweatshirts adorned with larger-than-life St. Nicks to sweaters featuring frisky holiday cats chasing after loose balls of yarn, the selection was truly sickening.

I was, at turns, amused, horrified and intrigued.

Addressing my confused look, one of them, a larger guy who had somehow squeezed into a child-sized, hand-knit Christmas Snoopy sweater, held aloft a cold one while explaining that he and his friends had just come from an ugly-holiday-sweater party. I smiled and tried to act natural and unfazed by how every last one of them seemed to relish the garish sweaters that clung tightly to their frames.

I was surprised and amused by the creative party theme, but nothing could prepare me for the tenacious grip of the tacky-holiday-sweater party’s popularity again this year.

Ugly indulgences
I can’t pinpoint where the trend originated. I can only relate my first interaction with it and my utter surprise that the theme has caught fire faster than a drought-riddled evergreen decked with vintage bubble lights.

Every holiday party I hear about these days involves a hideous sweater theme. It’s almost as if having a holiday party isn’t theme enough anymore. Forget Santa, those reindeer, all the eggnog, trees, lights and holiday cookies – we need more! We want all of those and some inflatables and partygoers dressed in the ugliest holiday sweaters imaginable.

I heard of at least five tacky-holiday-sweater-themed parties this season before receiving an invitation of my own. It read, in part, “In the spirit of the season, please join us for an evening that embraces everything that is cheesy about the holidays,” followed by a series of catchy bullets that included, “Don your ugliest holiday apparel for a highly competitive contest replete with a grand prize!” and “Imbibe on eggnog, buttered rum or whatever festive beverage is handy!”

They had me at “imbibe.”

Gauging gaudy
I stared at my closet this past weekend with indecision. Sadly, I trashed my tackiest sweaters only a few years ago. And it kind of defeats the purpose to go out and purchase yet another ugly sweater festooned with festive ribbons, jingle bells, sequins and dangling ornaments.

Since I didn’t know most of the partygoers, I found it difficult to call just how tacky they might mean. I dove through piles of sweaters, jingle bell necklaces and green-and-red-striped tights wondering, “How tacky is tacky? Is there ever a point of excess at a tacky-themed party? And just how had the penchant for ugly holiday outfits caught on?”

Turns out that tacky really does mean tacky, and now I see why. While I once couldn’t understand the appeal, I now see the garish light. Why not have an occasion to trot out the ugliest items in your closet? Why else hold onto that elegant shirt from the ’80s with the holly berries embroidered on the collar? Even ugly clothes need a place to party, a reason for exhibition, a place to go and die.

After all, why go through the trouble of trying to gentrify a holiday whose cultural symbols include such classy staples as a flying reindeer with a flashing red nose, a snowman that comes to life and a rotund man in a red suit with a hard-core addiction to cookies and milk?

Garish goodwill
One glance at Saturday’s partygoers made it abundantly clear that somewhere my elementary school teachers are missing their favorite holiday duds. The men in attendance wore garish plaid and tight holiday sweater vests embroidered with feisty, festive Scottie dogs and crackling fireplaces rendered in yarn. Women dripped in dangling holiday-themed jewelry, oversized sweaters decorated with beaming Santas, collared shirts embroidered with seasonal scenes and form-fitting plaid vests.

One couple had just come from a classy workplace holiday party. Their understated elegance stood out like a beacon of sanity amid a swirling cloud of gaudiness spun from polyester and yarn.

It was a sight to behold, and it was fabulous.

I don’t know how long the tacky trend will last but I hope it’s a good, long time.

For now, make the most of it. Holiday ugly is the new classy. Embrace it. Throw on that gaudy sweater you inherited from your grandma (you know the one), pour yourself a cup of good cheer and spread a little garish goodwill. It’s not the reason for the season, but it’s a fine way to celebrate.